Matthew Haggett has MUTANT BABIES!

09/01/2010
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Matthew Haggett has MUTANT BABIES!

Local Portland artist Matthew Haggett… or is it Haggerty?… What was I saying? Oh right, Matthew Haggett has mutant babies! His mutant children were found nestled together with their siblings in a box found on the corner of North Williams and Prescott street in NE Portland. Witnesses found the box early Sunday morning covered...

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Winner of our Junior Essay Contest

08/12/2010
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Winner of our Junior Essay Contest

About a month ago, we tasked Portland area children with an after school assignment. Write a one page essay addressing a major misconception. Not one of them got the pun (as can be said for most of you as well) but our favorite was written by 9-year old “Kui Fucker”. Way to go, “Kui”,...

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LETTERS TO TAN.

07/16/2010
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LETTERS TO TAN.

Dear Tan, You may know me because I am one of your biggest fans and I am always writing you letters. Not sure why you have never responded or put one of my letters in a column but that’s o.k. I still think you’re the man. Well it’s me Josh again from Ohio and...

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The Hippy Jesus is totally gay for the Dalai Lama

06/18/2010
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The Hippy Jesus is totally gay for the Dalai Lama

The other day while I was hanging out in my tree house on Hawthorne, I overheard some teenagers having a disgusting conversation. I believe these teenagers identified with what I’ve heard is called the “emo” subculture as they all had extremely feminine haircuts and tight pants. One teenage boy said to his friend, “If...

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TAN ON FIRE!

05/06/2010
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TAN ON FIRE!

Tan Peluski and Art Jeanyus at it again! Click on image to read.

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Jason Brown’s Emergency Facial Hair Removal Procedure

05/02/2010
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Jason Brown’s Emergency Facial Hair Removal Procedure

Goodfoot Bar in Turmoil!!! Sources have confirmed that Jason Brown (Goodfoot bar operator, music and art venue coordinator) is set to receive emergency hair removal treatment at Legacy Emanuel Hospital in NE Portland this weekend for an ongoing problem he has had with tremendous uncontrollable facial hair growth. According to friends and family Jason...

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PORTLAND CITY ART COMIC STRIP!

04/30/2010
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PORTLAND CITY ART COMIC STRIP!

Tan and Art get busy with one another in a whole new light! The new Art and Tan comic strip!

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John Graeter: Terrifying Photos Reveal Native Portland Legend Behind Art Scene Conspiracy

04/25/2010
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John Graeter: Terrifying Photos Reveal Native Portland Legend Behind Art Scene Conspiracy

Portland Artists are in an UPROAR after a late night photographic unveiling of local artist John Graeter, aka the Man of Many Faces, and his alternate personas. Several witnesses and Portland city officials were shocked when creative director for the well respected nonprofit organization Portland City Art (.org) was photographed in public with his...

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Blockbuster Artist Trade Finalized! Elliott Sends Kraft to Haberman in Exchange for a Sincere Compliment

04/22/2010
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Blockbuster Artist Trade Finalized! Elliott Sends Kraft to Haberman in Exchange for a Sincere Compliment

The Portland art scene was rudely awakened from a Pabst Blue Ribbon induced slumber early this morning by a shocking development that has insiders scratching their heads in disbelief: Steve Elliott has traded Charlie Alan Kraft to Chris Haberman in exchange for one sincere compliment. The Bad News Bears are no more.

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What do you get when you cross a fat guy and a watermelon?

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