Artists
Jason Brown’s Emergency Facial Hair Removal Procedure
Goodfoot Bar in Turmoil!!!
Sources have confirmed that Jason Brown (Goodfoot bar operator, music and art venue coordinator) is set to receive emergency hair removal treatment at Legacy Emanuel Hospital in NE Portland this weekend for an ongoing problem he has had with tremendous uncontrollable facial hair growth.
According to friends and family Jason has been… »
John Graeter: Terrifying Photos Reveal Native Portland Legend Behind Art Scene Conspiracy
Portland Artists are in an UPROAR after a late night photographic unveiling of local artist John Graeter, aka the Man of Many Faces, and his alternate personas.
Several witnesses and Portland city officials were shocked when creative director for the well respected nonprofit organization Portland City Art (.org) was photographed in public with his alleged twin… »
Blockbuster Artist Trade Finalized! Elliott Sends Kraft to Haberman in Exchange for a Sincere Compliment
The Portland art scene was rudely awakened from a Pabst Blue Ribbon induced slumber early this morning by a shocking development that has insiders scratching their heads in disbelief: Steve Elliott has traded Charlie Alan Kraft to Chris Haberman in exchange for one sincere compliment. The Bad News Bears are no… »
Portland City Art: Toilet Violations !!!
The people, and entities which compromise PCA, the supposed non-profit linked to numerous sex scandals and video-tape-hijacking, have been drizzling hot steamy shit down my porcelain mouth for long enough. I’m not willing to sit through even one more second of the barrel-waisted tyrants of Portland City Art squatting down over me popping shit flavored… »
“The Hot Box Gallery”
Oh seriously now, Tan here and I’m recovering from a week long bing on the drink so excuse my bad typing! Please my ex wife did and that’s how I skipped out of alimony… Oh seriously! So you’re living in Portland and wondering what to do when the first Thursday of the month comes next… »
I Wear My Sunglasses All the Fuckin’ Time $1,000,000,000,000 Bankroll Sucka!
I wear my sunglasses whenever the fuck I want, know why? Cause I’m a big deal. There might be an avalanche at any second, and my eyes will not be blinded because of that. If something happened to my eyes, since I’m a big deal, there would be a big problem. I wouldn’t be able… »
Man About Town: Alberta Street Controversy
Good riddance, and a big thank you to Tan Peluski for letting me write his column. He has been ill, but sends his best. Important things await me this evening. Dinner with Vera Katz followed by a waxing and if we’re lucky a little horseback. Ha, I just realized that later tonight I’m going to… »
THIS JUST IN! with Salvia Darling
THIS JUST IN! Portland curators have plenty of art to choose from. In the wake of our great nation’s economic [censored by Salvia], more and more people have turned to their creative talents (or lack-there-of) looking to make a buck. The market in Portland has become so [censored by Salvia] with artists and their wares,… »
Steve, take that fucking photo off this site!
Dude that whole article was a real fucking asshole thing to do. I work with kids at school on murals and they can at anytime google my name and find that photo. Your a fuckin dick and you need to take it off. I will, I will punch you in the fuckin face if… »
Stop Clogging Me, Charlie Alan Kraft
So here I was, minding my own business the other day, when this fat piece of shit Charlie Alan Kraft starts waddling towards me backwards with his pants around his cankles. I fuckin’ started losing it, man, cause see, I live in his apartment, and in the land of Kraft two things are accepted as… »
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Portland City News
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- Woman Devours 181 Chicken Wings In Contest
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- Plumbers Help Couple Find Flushed $40K Rings
- Balloon Boy Family Moves To Florida
- Teen Accidentally Texts Sheriff To Buy Pot
- Rare Baby Red Pandas Make Debut
- Dog Saves Boy From Bee Swarm
