Artists

Pacific Art Collective

09/08/2010
By Hot Shit
Pacific Art Collective

Folks we just got news that the Pacific Art Collective from San Jose California has been operating under an assumed identity. Not only have they been secretly conspiring with the Soviet Government about a possible world wide artistic over throw but they have also been selling artwork at unbeatable low prices…. Ladies and Gentlemen...

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Portland City Art (.org) CONCEDES

09/07/2010
By robot
concession speech photo

In what will go down as one of the longest and ugliest battles the Art Scene has ever known, John Graeter of Portland City Art (.org) has made it official tonight: his non-profit group is throwing in the towel. Portland City Art (.com) is victorious. Before we get to the festivities (which have been...

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Matthew Haggett has MUTANT BABIES!

09/01/2010
By OFFICIAL REPORT
Matthew Haggett has MUTANT BABIES!

Local Portland artist Matthew Haggett… or is it Haggerty?… What was I saying? Oh right, Matthew Haggett has mutant babies! His mutant children were found nestled together with their siblings in a box found on the corner of North Williams and Prescott street in NE Portland. Witnesses found the box early Sunday morning covered...

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Jason Brown’s Emergency Facial Hair Removal Procedure

05/02/2010
By primary-source
Jason Brown’s Emergency Facial Hair Removal Procedure

Goodfoot Bar in Turmoil!!! Sources have confirmed that Jason Brown (Goodfoot bar operator, music and art venue coordinator) is set to receive emergency hair removal treatment at Legacy Emanuel Hospital in NE Portland this weekend for an ongoing problem he has had with tremendous uncontrollable facial hair growth. According to friends and family Jason...

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John Graeter: Terrifying Photos Reveal Native Portland Legend Behind Art Scene Conspiracy

04/25/2010
By primary-source
John Graeter: Terrifying Photos Reveal Native Portland Legend Behind Art Scene Conspiracy

Portland Artists are in an UPROAR after a late night photographic unveiling of local artist John Graeter, aka the Man of Many Faces, and his alternate personas. Several witnesses and Portland city officials were shocked when creative director for the well respected nonprofit organization Portland City Art (.org) was photographed in public with his...

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Blockbuster Artist Trade Finalized! Elliott Sends Kraft to Haberman in Exchange for a Sincere Compliment

04/22/2010
By OFFICIAL REPORT
Blockbuster Artist Trade Finalized! Elliott Sends Kraft to Haberman in Exchange for a Sincere Compliment

The Portland art scene was rudely awakened from a Pabst Blue Ribbon induced slumber early this morning by a shocking development that has insiders scratching their heads in disbelief: Steve Elliott has traded Charlie Alan Kraft to Chris Haberman in exchange for one sincere compliment. The Bad News Bears are no more.

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Portland City Art: Toilet Violations !!!

03/12/2010
By Disgruntled Toilet
Portland City Art: Toilet Violations !!!

The people, and entities which compromise PCA, the supposed non-profit linked to numerous sex scandals and video-tape-hijacking, have been drizzling hot steamy shit down my porcelain mouth for long enough. I’m not willing to sit through even one more second of the barrel-waisted tyrants of Portland City Art squatting down over me popping shit...

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I Wear My Sunglasses All the Fuckin’ Time $1,000,000,000,000 Bankroll Sucka!

03/03/2010
By morganstone
I Wear My Sunglasses All the Fuckin’ Time $1,000,000,000,000 Bankroll Sucka!

I wear my sunglasses whenever the fuck I want, know why? Cause I’m a big deal. There might be an avalanche at any second, and my eyes will not be blinded because of that. If something happened to my eyes, since I’m a big deal, there would be a big problem. I wouldn’t be...

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Man About Town: Alberta Street Controversy

02/25/2010
By Tan Peluski
Man About Town: Alberta Street Controversy

Good riddance, and a big thank you to Tan Peluski for letting me write his column. He has been ill, but sends his best. Important things await me this evening. Dinner with Vera Katz followed by a waxing and if we’re lucky a little horseback. Ha, I just realized that later tonight I’m going...

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THIS JUST IN! with Salvia Darling

11/17/2009
By Salvia Darling
THIS JUST IN! with Salvia Darling

THIS JUST IN! Portland curators have plenty of art to choose from. In the wake of our great nation’s economic , more and more people have turned to their creative talents (or lack-there-of) looking to make a buck. The market in Portland has become so with artists and their...

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