Art Scene

C.O.C.K. G.A.G. Event Brings Portland Artists and Animal Rights Together At Last

10/05/2011
By Hippie Jesus
Hippie Jesus has been a raw, macrobiotic vegan since before he was born.

In the world of animal rights, no organization has done more for the plight of non-human animals than C.O.C.K. (Compassion Over Cruelty and Killing). As the world’s most perfect and pure vegan, I only support non-profit organizations whose message is for animal rights not animal welfare. If you don’t know the difference, then you’re...

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Orin Starr, Citizens Ashamed of The Nest

05/18/2011
By Hot Shit
Local activist and Lesbian swinger Orin Starr leading a parade of anti-rude bingo protesters outside of local bar "The Nest" in Portland, Oregon.

When most people think of bars in Portland Oregon good times and good beer come to mind. Even The Nest, Alberta street’s hot-spot for local well dressed liberals such as Orin Starr has been known for it’s comfortable atmosphere, cheap beer, and loud music set against a backdrop of fine rotating artwork curated by...

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Pacific Art Collective

09/08/2010
By Hot Shit
Pacific Art Collective

Folks we just got news that the Pacific Art Collective from San Jose California has been operating under an assumed identity. Not only have they been secretly conspiring with the Soviet Government about a possible world wide artistic over throw but they have also been selling artwork at unbeatable low prices…. Ladies and Gentlemen...

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Portland City Art (.org) CONCEDES

09/07/2010
By robot
concession speech photo

In what will go down as one of the longest and ugliest battles the Art Scene has ever known, John Graeter of Portland City Art (.org) has made it official tonight: his non-profit group is throwing in the towel. Portland City Art (.com) is victorious. Before we get to the festivities (which have been...

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Matthew Haggett has MUTANT BABIES!

09/01/2010
By OFFICIAL REPORT
Matthew Haggett has MUTANT BABIES!

Local Portland artist Matthew Haggett… or is it Haggerty?… What was I saying? Oh right, Matthew Haggett has mutant babies! His mutant children were found nestled together with their siblings in a box found on the corner of North Williams and Prescott street in NE Portland. Witnesses found the box early Sunday morning covered...

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Winner of our Junior Essay Contest

08/12/2010
By Kui Fucker
Winner of our Junior Essay Contest

About a month ago, we tasked Portland area children with an after school assignment. Write a one page essay addressing a major misconception. Not one of them got the pun (as can be said for most of you as well) but our favorite was written by 9-year old “Kui Fucker”. Way to go, “Kui”,...

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Jason Brown’s Emergency Facial Hair Removal Procedure

05/02/2010
By primary-source
Jason Brown’s Emergency Facial Hair Removal Procedure

Goodfoot Bar in Turmoil!!! Sources have confirmed that Jason Brown (Goodfoot bar operator, music and art venue coordinator) is set to receive emergency hair removal treatment at Legacy Emanuel Hospital in NE Portland this weekend for an ongoing problem he has had with tremendous uncontrollable facial hair growth. According to friends and family Jason...

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John Graeter: Terrifying Photos Reveal Native Portland Legend Behind Art Scene Conspiracy

04/25/2010
By primary-source
John Graeter: Terrifying Photos Reveal Native Portland Legend Behind Art Scene Conspiracy

Portland Artists are in an UPROAR after a late night photographic unveiling of local artist John Graeter, aka the Man of Many Faces, and his alternate personas. Several witnesses and Portland city officials were shocked when creative director for the well respected nonprofit organization Portland City Art (.org) was photographed in public with his...

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Blockbuster Artist Trade Finalized! Elliott Sends Kraft to Haberman in Exchange for a Sincere Compliment

04/22/2010
By OFFICIAL REPORT
Blockbuster Artist Trade Finalized! Elliott Sends Kraft to Haberman in Exchange for a Sincere Compliment

The Portland art scene was rudely awakened from a Pabst Blue Ribbon induced slumber early this morning by a shocking development that has insiders scratching their heads in disbelief: Steve Elliott has traded Charlie Alan Kraft to Chris Haberman in exchange for one sincere compliment. The Bad News Bears are no more.

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PortlandCityArt.com for Everyone!

04/21/2010
By robot

Even though you are all a bunch of morons, we decided (from the beginning) that the best thing for everyone involved in the Portland art scene is to allow ANYONE and EVERYONE to write for us. That is why we have always been open to the public. All you have to do is register,...

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